If You Don’t Respect Yourself, He (And Anyone Else) Won’t


Hey readers. Sorry, I know I’m a little late today, but I was searching for a job (I’ve been searching for almost a month and yielding no results) and trying to think of something to write about. There are two topics I wish to address today. One a little personal and one that seemingly has nothing to do with the other. But after you read both posts I hope you see the connection. I now return you to your regularly scheduled post.

I know there are worse music videos out there, but I decided to post an edited version of Keri Hilson’s infamous The Way You Love Me video for this post. This video shows nothing that we haven’t seen before in a hip hop or pop music video. Keri and other women are practically naked singing sexually explicit lyrics and dancing provocatively. Despite the commonality of this kind of thing, it shouldn’t be common for young girls (and older ones) to think this is acceptable behavior for a woman in the real world.

It’s no mystery that sex sells. Men (and woman) would rather watch a TV show that depicts sexually graphic scenes than a program that doesn’t. We would rather listen to a song about having a night filled with unbridled passion than to listen to a socially conscious song about genocide around the world. However, just because sex sells doesn’t mean we should be selling it to young men and women who don’t have any real world knowledge of it.

By presenting these overtly sexual images of women as skinny, disposable sex toys, we send a message to young men and women that a woman’s only lot in life is to have sex (and make men sandwiches). We send the message that the only way a woman can be considered attractive is if she’s skinny with big breasts and a big butt. We send a message that women should wear short, provocative clothing in order to get a man’s attention. Most importantly, we send a message that a woman’s looks are more important than what she thinks, feels, or how she acts. 

Although most women have a handle on these conflicts between these unrealistic expectations of what the “perfect” woman should be and what the perfect woman is, many young girls don’t. They wear tons of makeup and outfits that expose their bodies and wonder why people are always approaching them with sexual advances. They sleep with men and wonder why they only call them for sex. Young girls who do not look like the ones in magazines and music videos feel like they aren’t good enough and try to make up for it by being promiscuous. Either way, no one wins.

How do we solve this problem? Teach the young women in your life to respect themselves. You don’t have to look like a model or have sex with every guy you meet in order to be considered attractive. Teach young boys that a woman’s worth is more than her looks and more than what she can do for you in the bedroom. Like the title says ladies, if you don’t respect yourself, no one else will.

2 thoughts on “If You Don’t Respect Yourself, He (And Anyone Else) Won’t

  1. I must say, I fall into those group of women who think they aren’t pretty or perfect. It’s gotten so bad, that I think anyone who is prettier then me is just a b**** or a s***. I hate everything about myself, and rarely am I ever happy with the way I look. I know my husband says he loves me for who I am, but you know how guys are, they are always looking at other girls or porn, and it just makes me feel worse 😦

    1. Aww don’t let that stuff bother you. You’re one of the prettiest girls I know. I can relate though. Even though I’m not fat, I worry sometimes I’m not small enough to be considered attractive. I know it’s rough, especially with how easily some girls are willing to send guys pics and just be dirty and nasty with them but it never lasts.

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