When A Relationship Turns Abusive


Let’s face it. All couples fight.  At some point in the relationship, you and your significant other are going to not see eye to eye. At some point you are going to do something that makes your significant other angry, and vice versa. Although talking and working through these disagreements is healthy, it is not healthy if you or partner become physical. It also isn’t healthy for him or her to attack you with words either. Now I admit, no one’s perfect. We all say things out of anger at times. We sometimes get physical out of anger. But if the actions are repeated, if your partner feels no remorse, then your relationship may be taking for a turn for the worse. Your relationship with your partner may  be becoming abusive. 

The best way to determine if you are in an abusive relationship is to examine your inner thoughts and feelings. Does your partner constantly makes you feel afraid? Has this fear made you change your behavior or avoid certain topics? Do you feel like you aren’t a good person and can’t do anything right? Do these feelings lead you to believe that you deserve to be hit or mistreated? Does all this pressure make you feel numb, hopeless, or worthless? If so, there’s definitely a problem.

You also need to examine your partner’s behavior. Be watchful of constant, belittling behavior. Does your partner treat you like you’re his or her property? Does he or she humiliate or yell at you and ignores your thoughts and feelings? Is he or she overly critical and blames you for everything that goes wrong in their life?  You should also be on the lookout for controlling behavior. Does your significant other shows signs of excessive jealously or possessiveness, keeps you from seeing family or friends, keeps tabs on you, and limits your access to money or communication with friends and family? Finally, you need to beware of violent behavior. If his or her temper is unpredictable and explosive, if they threaten to harm themselves or you at any point, destroy your things, or force you to have sex, then you are definitely in an abusive relationship.

If your partner is exhibiting these behaviors and makes you feel uncomfortable, do not stay with him or her. He or she has no right to treat you that way. Relationships should be about love and respect, not fear and disrespect. If you or someone you know is an abusive relationship, he or she needs to get away from their partner immediately. You can also call the domestic abuse hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.

3 thoughts on “When A Relationship Turns Abusive

  1. Schlessinger Video Productions
    1994
    Running Time: 30 min.
    VHS Format

    Description: Abusive relationships are an ever-growing problem in adolescent love relationships. Jealousy, possissiveness, controlling behaviors, abusive language, degrading words, and outright violence are the indicators. Strangely, the victim often feels that what is happening must be “normal” – or if not, that he or she is somehow at fault. A victim begins to become isolated, afraid, and less and less likely to understand the extent of the abuse as it happens.

    This tape presents interviews with abused individuals, abuse counselors, and an abuser. Each discusses his or her own experiences, the brutal cycle of emotional and physical abuse, and warning signs of an abusive relationship, and how to get help and legal assistance if you are in one

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