Hearts and Thoughts They Fade, Fade Away

Hello readers! Happy Friday! It’s a Friday and I wasn’t quite sure what to write about. All the topics I wanted to touch upon are kind of heavy and that’s not really how I want to start the weekend off. Because of that I decided to do a personal entry.I’m sorry for being so vague. Perhaps in a few months I’ll share with you the true nature of what I’m talking about.  I hope you guys like it. I tried to pretty up for you guys. Enjoy. 

Remember that scene from the Lion King where Timon tells Simba you got to put the past behind you? Well this is starting to ring true in my life. I have GOT to put the past behind me. But it seems easier said than done.

"Run away Simba and never return." Scar was that villain.

I didn’t have the luxury of running away from my problems like Simba did in the Lion King. I had to deal with them, considering there was no way I could escape them. As hard as I tried to run away, there was no way I could. It has been and will always be there. So my mind did what it could to protect me from having a meltdown. It helped me forget. And every time I reach into my brain to recall the things that my brain doesn’t want me to remember, I tear up. (The brain is amazing. It helps you from having a complete psychotic break, but at the same time it prevents you from full recovery.)

So what am I to do? Do I walk away on the past completely? Do I stop reaching into my brain to bring back all those painful memories? Do I let my brain do it’s job and protect me? This past situation is like a crime scene. Do I just leave the scene and never look back? That’s kind of what I’ve done. But lately I’ve been thinking I need to go back and clean up the mess. Confront what’s there and just build fresh.

I don’t know. We’ll see.

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