from: Carolyn Bourne
to: heidi withers
subject: your lack of manners
Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:
When you are a guest in another’s house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat – unless you are positively allergic to something.
You do not remark that you do not have enough food.
You do not start before everyone else.
You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.
When a guest in another’s house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early – you fall in line with house norms.
You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.
You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why. No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.
I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters’ marriages.)
If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.
One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.
The soon to be mother in law (Carolyn Bourne) had her soon to be daughter in law, Heidi Withers, over as a guest. Apparently Bourne was less than pleased with her behavior and decided to confront her with an email. When Withers received the email, she did what anyone else would do when in total shock: send it to people she thought would help. Instead of offering some friendly advice, someone forwarded the email and it became an internet sensation within a matter of hours.
Why Monster in Law Was Wrong
I’m not a parent, but if I was I would want my son or daughter to have the best. That includes who he or she chooses to spend the rest of their life with. However, that doesn’t give me or Ms. Bourne the right to completely tear down her ill mannered soon to be daughter in law like that. Instead of an email, she could have spoken to Withers face to face or worded the email in a more polite manner. After all, how can you tell someone about how bad their manners are if your are equally as bad?
What Do You Think?
Was Bourne wrong or did she do the right thing?