Picture it. Your home or office any boring afternoon. You log onto Facebook and after tending your crops and making your Sim pee on your ex best friend’s gardening plot, you notice _________ leaves a post on their cute friend’s wall. You decided to check out the cutie’s relationship status, posts and photos. The next thing you know fifteen minutes have gone by and you better stop creeping.
Sound familiar? Odds are it does, you internet prowler, you. In most cases it’s harmless fun. A way to kill boredom or to make new connections. But there are some apps out there that make even the most innocent cases of curiously creeping on someone on the internet make you cringe and almost sick to your stomach.
Cracked.com highlights 8 apps that they claim are “designed specifically for modern douche bags.” I’d like to think of three of them as apps designed for future stalkers and serial killers. I won’t discuss every app from the cracked article, so if you want to read it go here:http://www.cracked.com/article_19606_8-apps-designed-specifically-modern-douchebags.html. Here are the top 3 that really help put the “eep” in creepy.
Big brother and every Tom, Dick, and Harry (or Tina, Rachel, and Mary if you’re a guy) with a camera phone can find out whatever they want about you. Recognizr is a perfect example of this. Recognizr is a smart phone app that uses a photo of the object of your affections to locate all their social networking accounts. It works by creating a 3D model of a face which is sent to their severs and matched through a database. Once the face is recognized, your target’s name and access to all their social networking profiles are up for grabs. Don’t worry though. The only way Recognizr will work is the person being photographed has an account with Recognizr.
The days of tracking devices and GPS locators are over. All you need is the Creepy app. All the social networking sites that you update and use on a regular basis can be fed into Creepy to pinpoint your exact location. It gets worse. If your exact location can’t be found, Creepy conveniently provides a list of places you frequently hang out thanks to check ins or mentions from your social networking profiles.
The Breakup Notifier
Waiting for the object(s) or your affection(s) to break up with their lame significant other? Tired of creeping on their wall or twitter? Your troubles are now over! Facebook will do it for you with its Breakup Notifier App! The app works by checking the person’s Facebook status every ten minutes to see if their relationship status changes. All you have to do is log into Facebook, select the people you want notifications of relationship changes, and then wait for an email to let you know he or she is available.
There you have it folks. Three pieces of technology that will elevate you from your average internet creeper to full-blown stalker. Happy creeping-er stalking.