Hey guys. Hope you’re all having a great Thursday night. Sorry the post is kind of late. Had to get some tests run, but no worries, I’m doing okay. Anyhow, without further ado, today’s post.
There are all types of annoying people out in the world, but these are the ones that really make you want to give up on humanity.
The Description: This man/woman is always ready to tell you about how amazingly well things are going for them. Whether it’s their job, their children, relationships, or something mundane as getting the closest parking space to the door, they just have to tell you. Even if it wasn’t a recent accomplishment, they’ll somehow worm it into the conversation. In high school, they had the highest SAT score. They once wrestled a grizzly bear while making a grilled cheese sandwich. They haven’t missed a day of work in three years. You know, stuff like that.
When you try to tell them about how awesome things are going for you, they somehow find a way to one up you and make your accomplishments seem small and insignificant.
The Scenario: “Yesterday was so amazing! I got a parking spot right in front of the door when I went to work. The boss then gave me a promotion for being the best employee there! You know I haven’t missed a day of work since the three years I’ve been there? Anyway, my boss took me out to lunch at this fancy restaurant and an old woman dropped her wallet. I returned it to her and she gave me a hundred dollars. Then after work my husband and I had sex for three hours and I had five orgasms! How was your day?”
The Description: There are all times where we are unprepared and need to borrow something. However, the moocher NEVER has anything. They’re always asking for something like a ride, money, gum, clothes, food or drinks. Usually, this need for something comes as an afterthought or they tend to disappear when the bill comes.
The Scenario: You and your friends meet up for dinner and drinks. When the bill comes, one of your friends realizes they “forgot” their wallet. You all pitch in a little more to pay for their share. A couple of weeks later you and that friend go to the gym. They pretend to rummage their car and it seems they don’t have any clothes to well. Can they borrow some of yours since you always carry a spare outfit?
The Overly Affectionate Couple
The Description: This couple is attached at the hip. They NEVER leave each other’s side. If you didn’t know any better you’d swear their names were pookie and boobear. They’re always, cuddling and holding hands and feeding each other and just being so sweet that if you come too close you’ll contract diabetes.
The Scenario: That couple in the restaurant who sit on the same side of the booth when it’s just them and are feeding each other and giggling.
The Battling Couple
The Description: This couple is ALWAYS fighting and they NEVER seem happy. They’re always belittling each other and putting each other down. Despite their unhappiness and toxicity of their relationship, they’re still together.
The Scenario: Check your Facebook for that couple who’s always posting passive aggressive statues and changing their relationship statuses every two seconds.
The Diehard Fangirl/Fanboy
The Description: This guy or girl is OBSESSED with a certain band/movie/sports team/book/T.V show. They NEVER shut up about it and always spew out random trivia. If you don’t care about it or don’t like it they will do everything in their power to convince you that’s it the best thing since slice bread and you should love it too.
The Scenario: The girl always posting about how awesome Team Edward is and claims that Twilight is the best book of their generation. Or the guy who doesn’t want to date you because you hate Led Zeppelin.
The Description: Even in the wee hours of the morning this man or woman is a ball full of energy and sporting a smile.
The Scenario: The guy or girl who dives into work the moment they enter the office and are happy, smiling, and expect for you to carry on a full conversation before you’ve had any caffeine in you.
Super Conservatives and Super Liberals
The Description: Self explanatory, but they’re the people who only go far left, far right or nowhere at all. They’re always posting super political statues on Facebook or Twitter and if you try to argue the opposite point, they will argue with you until you give up. They can’t admit the other side could be right or that there’s a middle ground.
The Scenario: Pick a social networking site. You’ll find em.
The People Who Ask for Advice and NEVER Take It
The Description: This person is always seeking out advice, but never takes it. Instead, they make excuses, ignores you, or lashes out at you. Then they ask you for advice about the same situation a couple weeks later.
The Scenario: “Johnathan treats me like shit! He never takes me anywhere and he’s always putting me down. What should I do?”
“Break up with him.”
“Hmmm…well he loves me. Maybe.”
-Two weeks later-
“Johnathan is always treating me like shit! What should I do?”