As a lazy person, I can appreciate the art and effort people put into finding shortcuts. Thanks to the interwebs and texting, people have come up with a thousands of abbreviations for words and phrases. For the most part I’m with it. If you can spare me a few steps or a few words, I’m all for it.
HOWEVER, there’s a time and a place for everything. If you write for a magazine *cough**cough*Cosmo*cough*cough* or another professional publication, there should be little to no abbreviations unless your audience exclusively consists of 13-year-old girls. In addition, most of these abbreviations sound ridiculous outside of text messages and the internet.
So without further ado, here are ten shortened words/ abbreviations that shouldn’t be used ever.
Root word: Crazy
Example: That shit cray.
I’ll admit that I’ve said cray quite a few times. It’s not cringe worthy. And honestly, it was pretty cool. (Then again Jay-Z and Kanye West can make almost anything cool.) However, as time went on the word became overused. And then people started saying ” cray cray”. That put the nail in the coffin.
Root word: Vacation
Example: I had the worst vacay ever. It rained the whole time.
Although saying “vacay” is a syllable shorter than saying “vacation”, it sounds silly. It sounds more painful than it does relaxing.
Root word: Delicious
Example: You should try the baked ziti. It’s so delish.
Saying delish may make someone vomit. And that’s never delicious.
Root word: Baby/babe
Example: I’m taking my bae to dinner. It’s our 6 month anniversary.
This is just laziness at it’s finest. It’s enough to make your jaw lock and your teeth grind. Was babe too long? Did it remind you of that sheep herding pig too much? What about all the other pet names out there? At least one of those is a better choice than “bae”.
Root word: Ridiculous
Example: I have a ridic amount of homework to do.
Saying ridic makes you seem ridiculous.
Root word: Shit
Example: I left the date early because I got tired of Johnny’s ish.
I’m guilty of using this word too. I don’t want to use swear words all the time. However, it sounds kind of weird. Crap is probably the better substitute.
Root word: Fabulous
Example: Jessica looks fab in that dress.
Although fab is two syllables shorter than fabulous, it sounds the opposite.
Root word: Totally
Example: Jeremy is totes capable of handling herself in a fight.
Aside from sounding ridiculous, this is can easily be confused by older people. A tote is a type of bag. Southerners often “tote” or “carry” bags.
Root word: Random
Example: I went to the bathroom and when I came back some rando girl was flirting with my boyfriend.
Rando and random are both two syllables. Rando is only shorter than random by a letter. How is this saving time, breath or effort? Stop it.
Root word: Jealous
Example: Ashley was jelly of Amanda because she was crowned prom queen.
When most people hear the word “jelly” they think of the spread/condiment. Or fat. Or jellybeans. Regardless, jelly and jealous are the same amount of syllables. As a friend on twitter @bart_culpepper said, unless you are Beyonce, you better be talking about what goes with peanut butter.
Are there any abbreviations that I missed that make your skin crawl? Share in a comment below!