How Not to Write A Short Story

Trying to write a short story (or anything for that matter)? Here is what not to do.

1. Gather your materials. If you write on your laptop, fire it up and open Word or Notepad. If you use pen and paper get it out and prepare to make magic.

2. Stare blankly at the page. Uh, what was I supposed to be writing about again? Absolutely no idea.  

3. Get the creative juices flowing. Don’t panic! If you don’t know what to write about, find inspiration. Turn on some music, the TV or go surf the internet for pictures or articles. This almost always leads to step 4.

4. Waste time on the internet. While you’re looking up stuff, you might as well check your email. And Facebook. And Twitter. And Buzzfeed. And Pinterest.  While you’re wasting time, you might as well channel surf too. Law and Order: SVU marathon!?!? Hell yeah!

5. Get something to eat or drink. All that hard work has gotten you hungry/thirsty. Reward yourself with a snack and drink.

6. Take a nap. After all, you have been working hard at procrastinating. You deserve a nap.

7.  Feel bad about yourself. You’re probably feeling disappointed and angry at yourself for wasting so much time. You should have had your story written by now.

8. WRITE. Pull your head out your butt and get to work! Write like your life depended on it.

9. Reward yourself with some downtime. But not too much downtime! You saw what happened the last time.

10. Proofread. Grammatical and spelling errors suck.

Now stop wasting time and go write!

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