Things You Should Stop Saying to Your Single Friends II

Back in September I did a post about all the lovely things people like to tell their single friends. Here are some more soul crushing, eye rolling statements people like to make. Enjoy!

Maybe you need a makeover. This lovely phrase, A.K.A you look like crap consistently, is a gentle way of telling you that the world is shallow. To that I say you’ll need a makeover when my fist collides into your nose. Just kidding. Violence doesn’t solve anything.

Are you saying I need the Meg Griffin treatment?

Your expectations are too high. What’s wrong with having standards? After thinking about it and realizing that maybe they are a little unrealistic and need a tweak, it always leads to…

Your expectations are too low. But you just told me they were too high!!! I guess some expectations are better than no expectations. Back to the drawing board!

Marriage isn’t for everyone. You don’t say.

Don’t you want to get married? Sure. To someone I wouldn’t mind being stuck with forever.

Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Obviously.

You could always freeze your eggs/sperm. What are you trying to say? All my eggs aren’t going to dry up because I don’t have a boyfriend. There’s plenty of time for me to have babies. And I could always adopt a child if I ran out of time.  But thanks for thinking I’ll probably be single and childless forever.

Any phrase that starts with when you’re older. Usually this comes from an older friend who means well. However, starting ANY sentence about ANYTHING  this way makes people tune out. It makes you feel like a child who is getting lectured by a parent about something.

I normally wouldn’t date a vampire so why not try Eric Northman.

You’re too good for them anyway. Either a lot of people suck or I’m just too awesome for my own good.

You need to step out of your comfort zone. I know this means date people you normally wouldn’t, but come on. There’s a reason why we don’t date certain people. Maybe I should dating a vampire or a something. Where’s Eric Northman!?

How are you single? You’re amazing. Trust me, I ask myself that every day.

You shouldn’t let your partner/date see who you really are. Whoever says this to you has watched Aladdin too many times. Go find the DVD/VHS and smash it to a million pieces. Not being yourself is FALSE advertising! You’re making someone fall in love with a LIE. You have to keep up that lie for the remainder of the relationship! I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I’m not. If that means being alone and single for a while then so be it.

There you have it, folks. Stop annoying your single friends with these phrases. There will probably be a part three in the future.

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