Valentine’s Day can be a real bummer if you’re single. While all your friends and family are eating overpriced chocolate, make a date with your television to watch these unconventional Valentine’s Day films. Greasy and fattening snacks are
My Bloody Valentine 3D: Inexperienced coal miner, Tom Hanniger causes an accident in the tunnels that only leaves one survivor, Henry Warden, in a coma. A year later he wakes up on Valentine’s Day and slaughters 22 people with a pick axe before being killed by the police. Ten years later, the town seems to plagued by another pick axe wielding madman. The question is, is it Henry Warden back from the grave?
What better way to spend Valentine’s Day than to see a bunch of people murdered by a pick axe? It’s got lots of blood and action for the men and Jensen Ackles for the ladies. You can also view the original 1981 version entitled My Bloody Valentine.
Fatal Attraction: Fatal Attraction is the ultimate PSA for cheaters. Don’t do it. Don’t EVER do it. As a single person, you’ll be glad you’re not in a relationship with someone who cheats on you with a psychopath.
Carrie: If you’ve ever been bullied or tormented in high school, then you probably understood why Carrie went apeshit on everyone during prom night. Although there were some unnecessary fatalities like her teacher and Tommy Ross, you couldn’t help but cheer her on a little. Carrie’s perfect for Valentine’s Day because it shatters the illusion that if we love and try hard enough things will work out. Not everyone gets a happy ending. Watch the 1976 or 2013 version.
The 40-Year-Old Virgin: Although the 40-Year-Old Virgin is a romantic comedy, it won’t leave you feeling depressed or wishing you had someone to hold. It’s a reminder that you can find love no matter how old you are. In the meantime, you’ve got your friends to keep you company.
Saving Silverman: Although Saving Silverman can be considered a romantic comedy, it’s more of a buddy comedy. Two misfits conspire to keep their best friend from marrying the wrong woman. Hilarious shenanigans ensue.
Death Proof: Quentin Tarantino may consider Death Proof his worst film, but most of his fan base disagrees. Death Proof is a great movie for single people because it’s completely devoid of lovey dovey notions. Instead it’s about friendship, solidarity and a hint of revenge between the women in the film. Although the main characters are attractive and can be considered eye candy, it provides action and kick ass female characters that both sexes can appreciate.
Hard Candy: Ellen Page’s character, Hayley, tortures a guy who she thinks is pedophile. There’s even a really intense castration scene. If that doesn’t spell out a good time I don’t know what else does.
Waiting to Exhale: Sorry fellas. This one’s for the girls. Waiting to Exhale chronicles the lives of four friends in Phoenix, Arizona. Although their relationships, careers and families pull them in different directions, the women share strong bonds with each other. This movie demonstrates that you don’t need to be in a relationship in order to live a happy and fulfilling life. And Angela Bassett sets a car on fire.
Cruel Intentions: Step siblings Sebastian and Kathryn make a bet that he won’t be able to seduce the new girl in town, Annette, who wants to save herself for marriage. If Sebastian wins he gets to have sex with Kathryn. If he doesn’t, Kathryn gets his car. There’s lot of sex, double-crossing, suspense, and no one gets their happy ending.
Unfaithful: Woman can be cheaters too. A bored, suburban housewife carries out an affair with a handsome Frenchman with a thing for poetry that ends in murder. Just don’t cheat people. Please.
The American Pie Series: Although the American Pie series puts a lot of emphasis on sex and falling in love, the movies are hysterical. Just like the 40-Year-Old Virgin, they won’t leave you feeling sad about being single. Instead they’ll leave you feeling hopeful that you’ll find the right person for you and that you always have your friends.
Jennifer’s Body: Jennifer is murdered in a satanic ritual and gets possessed by a demon that makes her eat boys alive. We’ve all been there, right ladies? Just kidding. Eating boys alive is not cool. Neither are satanic rituals.
High Fidelity: High Fidelity is a movie about a record store owner who is in the middle of a breakup. To help him understand where he’s gone wrong, he recounts four other breakups and reconnects with his other exes to find out what drove them away. Although breakups can be messy and painful, it’s pretty light-hearted and humorous.
Vertigo: This one’s a classic full of action, suspense, and a twist ending. Jame Stewart’s voice also tickles me. Detective John “Scottie” Ferguson’s follows his friend’s wife, Madeleine, because she is believed to be crazy and suicidal. Scottie and Madeline appear to fall in love, but she kills herself by jumping from the top of an old church. Scottie is unable to save her because he has a severe case of vertigo. Several months later he meets Judy who looks exactly like Madeline. He tries to make Judy become her by making changes to her appearance, but soon realizes that her presence is part of an elaborate scheme.
What are your favorite unconventional Valentine’s Day movies?