****THIS POST TALKS ABOUT RAPE. TRIGGER WARNING*****
I hope by the time this post goes live this video will be taken down, but after watching some of her other videos I doubt it. Here’s to hoping.
Last week, I stumbled on this video by Trisha Paytas entitled Is Rape a Turn On. The video is embedded above, but it may be really hard to stomach for some of you, so if you’re still in the early stages of healing or get triggered easily please skip it. We’ll discuss it below.
This video is a twisted plug for Trisha’s new erotica entitled Tease. According to the book description on Amazon (which she also reads in the video), Tease focuses on 19-year-old college student/waitress Mary. She meets a man named Preston and gets caught in a whirlwind romance. She finds that Preston has some dark sexual desires which turn violent, never taking no for an answer. Mary starts to like it, even enjoys it, and starts to engage in sexually deviant behavior of her own. Basically, it’s Trisha’s attempt to hop on the 50 Shades of Grey, BDSM bandwagon.
I have not read the book but according reviews on Amazon and spoilers elsewhere, the first sex scene depicts the main character being forcibly raped while getting beaten. Throughout the rest of the book, she talks about how great it is was and how she wishes it would happen again. There’s another scene where she forcibly has sex with another girl with a fork and knife. Completely harmless, right?
Trisha responds to “questions” posed by others who wonder about why she depicts “gratuitous rape, unnecessary rape” in the novel. She also uses the time to answer the question is rape a turn on for her. Basically, her response to these questions and concerns is that she has a “fake rape” fantasy, which she describes as a domination fantasy where the man would be in complete control in the bedroom. She also justifies her inflammatory statements and scenes in the book that it is completely a work of fiction and none of the characters are real.
So many things wrong here so let’s go inflammatory statement and scene one by one.
BDSM and rape fantasies are not the same as being as raped
BDSM is a variety of erotic practices that involve dominance and submission, role-playing, and restraint among other interpersonal dynamics. Rape fantasy also known as ravishment is a sexual fantasy involving imagining or pretending to be coerced or coerced another into a sexual activity. In both cases both parties CONSENT to engage in this type of behavior. Both parties are willing participants, enjoy it, and make arrangements to carry out the fantasy in a safe, comfortable and controlled environment.
Someone who is raped doesn’t get that. Rape victims DO NOT consent to what is happening to them. They don’t enjoy it. They don’t want it. Odds are the rapist doesn’t give a damn about how the victim feels, while someone in a caring BDSM relationship or engages in ravishment would. It’s all about consent and rape victims don’t get to do that. They are forced into engaging in whatever sexual acts their rapist chooses.
Giving a guy total control in the bedroom is not “fake rape”.
It’s dominance, plain and simple. Some men and women like it, others don’t. As long as both parties are okay with it, then it’s fine. However, if someone DOES NOT consent, then it’s rape.
It’s just a work of fiction so it’s okay!
No. It’s not okay. Rape is a heavy and serious topic and should be treated as such. Trisha seems to do nothing but blur the lines of what constitutes rape and what doesn’t, especially with her use of the term fake rape.
The problem with people like Trisha, and this type of fiction, is that it helps perpetuate rape culture and the myth that if a man or woman says no, then they secretly want it. He or she is too shy or too embarrassed to admit their true sexual desires so the other person has to take charge of the situation. They don’t really mean no. They want it. They love it. They just don’t want to admit. This whole idea is complete bullshit. NO MEANS NO. YES MEANS YES. It’s that simple.
Can we stop pretending there are all these “blurred lines”? Can we stop rationalizing this bullshit with excuses like “it’s just fiction”, “she used the wrong words” and “it isn’t a big deal.” It’s a HUGE deal and it’s not okay. At 25 years old, this girl should know better. But she doesn’t. Instead she’s out there glorifying rape and promoting misogyny and spreading confusing about what rape truly is.
The kicker is apparently, according to one of her other books, she is a rape victim herself!!!
Anyway, tell me what you guys think of the video or BDSM or ravishment in general. Do you agree with Trisha or are you as pissed off about it as I am? Sound off in the comments below.