30 Signs He’s a Douchebag

“Where have all the all good men gone?” some people may ask. A lot of guys may respond they’re in the “friendzone where you left them!” but I don’t think there’s much truth to that. Sure, some girls may pass over the nice, sweet, average looking guy for the guy in the leather jacket on the Harley that calls every girl he meets babe, but sometimes even the so-called nice guys aren’t so nice. So before you get too emotionally invested in that nice guy you met at the bookstore or the beefcake you met at the club, here are 30 signs that he’s a douchebag.

He has lines: You bet he says that to all the girls. Chances are, he might. He’s got certain words or phrases he likes to use on everyone.  He uses phrases like “did it hurt from you fell from heaven” in a way that isn’t ironic or funny.

All his exes are bitches and hoes: Relationships can end badly and people are entitled to be bitter about them. However, if all his relationships end in turmoil and heartbreak and he has nothing nice to say about them, you’re probably dealing with a douchebag.

Face tattoos: Face tattoos say two things. I’ve murdered someone or I’m incredibly stupid and don’t give a fuck about future employment.

Baby mama drama: Sometimes things don’t work out no matter how hard you try. You shouldn’t write a guy off just because he has a baby mama or a child. However, you should write him off if they have a rocky relationship. If he treats like her crap, it’s a red flag. If they still flirt/have sex/or have feelings for each other, it’s a red flag. If she’s extremely jealous and possessive of him, it’s a red flag. If they’re constantly at war with each other, it’s another red flag. The drama just isn’t worth it.

Questionable employment: It’s really hard to find and keep a full-time job now days, so it’s understandable for someone to not have steady work. However, if he isn’t even trying to find work and is content with living off others, he’s probably a douchebag. There’s also another point to consider. Does he seem to not to do much of anything but still have a considerable amount of cash? If so, he’s probably into something that you want to avoid.

 He won’t pay for anything:You can only forget your wallet so many times, buddy. It’s perfectly acceptable for a lady to treat her man or to split the bill. However, if he won’t pay for ANYTHING EVER, he’s just a douchebag.

He’s got commitment issues: If he says things like he’s afraid of commitment or doesn’t want to be tied down but dates you or screws you for an extended period of time, he’s definitely a douchebag.

He only wants to chill: If it’s never a date when you spend time together (especially if you’ve been sleeping together), he isn’t serious about you.

He wears sunglasses inside at night: Unless he’s a Blues brother this is not acceptable.

He’s verbally abusive: No one deserves to be called names or degraded every second. If he’s being verbally abusive, he isn’t worth your time.

 He’s always late: If someone’s chronically late for everything, it means they’re always thinking about themselves and doing things on their time.  Who wants to be with someone like that?

The girls he follows on social media are all naked: Okay, well maybe not completely naked, but you get the idea. He’s either a horndog or trolling for booty. Which leads to the next point.

He’s all too eager to send you dick pics (unsolicited): Nothing makes a girl wants to arrive on a man’s doorstep with just a trench coat on like an unsolicited dick pic. NOT. Seriously, don’t send them unless we ask for one. And it’s reasonably groomed. Otherwise you just come off as a horndog or someone who’s just trolling for booty.

There are pictures of naked girls on his phone/computer: If he’s got pics of girls that aren’t you or his celeb/porn star crush, then he’s a douchebag.

His shirt is three sizes too small: Can he breath? Better hope it isn’t cold in the room or his nipples will poke holes through the shirt.

He spends more time in the mirror than you do: It’s great for guys to take pride in their appearance, but come on. We gotta get ready too.

It’s all about him: Everything you talk about and do revolves around him. It’s unfair, selfish, and shows that he’s only into himself.

He only makes plans with you after 10 pm: BOOTY CALL!!!!!!!! 

Plans are infrequent: You don’t have to see each other every day, but you should be seeing each other regularly. If he doesn’t attempt to spend time with you on a regular basis then you’re not really a priority to him.

He’s physically abusive: NO ONE deserves to be a punching bag.

Your friends hate him: In most cases, your friends wouldn’t hate him for no reason. If they’re expressing concern about you guys being together or the way he treats you, then he’s probably a douchebag.

 He doesn’t want to meet your friends: Your friends are important to you and a huge part of your life. If he isn’t willing to share you with them or meet them, he isn’t worth your time.

He disrespects your family: Only a douchebag would treat your family like shit.

 All of your interests are stupid: Granted, we all like things that are a little stupid/crazy, but someone who really likes you and cares about you respects that and doesn’t call you on it.

 He’s always cancelling: Shit happens sometimes. But if he’s ALWAYS bailing on you (especially last-minute) than he’s a douchebag.

Communication is infrequent: You don’t have to talk every minute of every day, but you guys should be communicating regularly. If he’s always popping up out of the blue, then your just an option to him.

Your satisfaction in bed doesn’t matter: A selfish lover isn’t one worth having.

Sleeping with other people while your together is acceptable to him: He’s probably sleeping with or dating someone else too.

 He nitpicks your body: It’s one thing for you guys to poke fun at each other after a big meal or if you bring it up first. It’s another thing for him to make snide comments about your body.


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