I recently read this really cool article from Steven Pressfield on the most important writing lesson he ever learned. It’s a really great article so you should read it, but for those of you who don’t have time now, the bottom line is that no one wants to read your shit. It may seem harsh, but the more you think about it, the more you’ll see it as a truth.
And honestly, the same philosophy can apply to life. No one wants to hear about your shit. No one. People have their own lives and problems. As much as friends and family want to support you, there are just some things they just don’t care about. This goes double for the internet. So many people treat the internet and social media like dairies. It’s almost maddening.
Here are a few gems people like to talk about that no one cares about. Enjoy!
Your iPhone: Dear Apple addicts, no one gives a shit about your iPhone. Let me repeat that. NO ONE gives a shit about your iPhone. Oh, a new update? DON’T CARE! A new version of the phone with specs Android users already enjoy? Great! But NO ONE cares. Shut up about your phone already. It’s not special.
What you ate: Pictures of food should only be shared if it comes out looking like a picture in a magazine. No one cares about your ramen noodles.
Your relationship: Everyone loves love! However, hearing about every facet from dates to engagements to breakups can be exhausting. And make the bitter singles envious.
Your sex life: Do you really want your sweet old Grandma to know you and your significant other had a quickie in a parking lot? Or that you had a one night stand? Things like that should only be shared with close friends or a diary.
Your pets: Puppies and kitties are adorable and it’s fine to share a pic now and then. However, no one wants to hear or see about them all the time.
Your kids: Kids are adorable. They’re tiny miracles. However, people who don’t have kids or are directly involved with yours don’t care as much as you would think. This is especially true when they’re younger or you become a first time parent. Everything seems incredible and wonderful! Rolling over, first steps, first words, cute outfits, potty training. It’s all amazing to you, but to others it doesn’t mean a thing.
That show/book you’re crazy about: We get it! You love The Wire. Breaking Bad was incredible. You want to blow George RR Martin. Nobody cares.
Your dreams: Although you may think your dream about riding a dragon in outerspace with Tom Cruise sounds cool and has some hidden meaning, your friends and family are wondering how much acid you dropped.
Your religious beliefs: I thought we were living in the 21st century, not the middle ages. It doesn’t matter if your a Christian, Jew, Muslim, or Atheist. All that should matter is if you’re a good person. Don’t force your religious beliefs on anyone or you’ll come off looking like an asshole.
Your political beliefs: We know, we know. You hate Obama. Or the liberal equivalent. Either way, no one gives a shit about your political affiliations. The more you talk about it, the more of a douche you become.